PET PEEVES OF A WIFE, MOTHER. . . AND THE DESIGNATED MAID

As a wife, mother and designated maid, here are my favorite pet peeves family members seem oblivious to--and which drive me "straight to the moon."  

1. Unmade beds. Everyone should make his/her bed. [Note to husband: The last person out of the bed should make it.] Please don’t placate me with the excuse you didn’t have time. It takes two or three minutes! There is a saying, “Unmade bed, unmade head.” Start you day our right and end your day slipping between sheets and blankets that don’t look as if a herd of disgruntled buffalo organized a stampede through the room.

 2. The kitchen sink is not the dishwasher. There is no little elf or industrious dwarf who miraculously schleps the dishes from the sink and stacks them in the dishwasher. But I will tell you that there is a “Grumpy” dwarf if it’s not done. Oh, by the way, while we’re talking about dishes, please rinse your dishes and glasses when you’re finished eating or drinking.

3.  Learn to iron. At least, learn to iron your good “stepping-out” shirts, pants, and dresses. No, no, no, everything is not “wrinkle-free. ” Let’s heat up the iron and chase away the wrinkles on that cotton shirt, especially if you’re going on your first date, to an interview, or to church. It would be wise to make a good impression at all three of these places. You need to look in control and organized—like you care and certainly not like you slept in your clothes.

4. Take out the trash. Please don’t try to squash that last pizza box onto the top of the already overflowing waste paper can! This is the one time all men’s spatial perception flies out the window and heads for Mars. I’ve watched men crush pop cans in their bare hands to try to make the “little sucker” fit the last two-inch space in the trash can and spare them the task of taking the entire heap outside to the proper receptacle.

5.  Pick up your shoes and stash them out of the way. Anyone, who has ever stumbled over a size 13 shoe coming in the entranceway or better yet, waltzed into the bedroom in the dark and stumbled over a shoe worn by Big Foot, knows what I’m saying here. If women wanted to jump hurdles, they’d enter ABC’s television show, Wipeout.

[P.S. Changing the toilet paper roll won't make you brain dead.]

Now it’s your turn, ladies and gents, to add your favorite pet peeve.

Where Do Writers Get Ideas?

Everyone wants to know where writers get their ideas. It’s a question every author who has a book signing or who gives a presentation is asked. Many times, you will hear writers (myself included) admit that they “truly don’t know” where they get them.

For a writer, ideas are like the ocean waves—sometimes they come crashing into our minds; sometimes they roll quietly in and then slip away, receding like a calm ripple; and sometimes they tumble around like a sneaky undertow before they pop up, surface and become a viable thought.

However, there are some truths about all writers:

Good writers are voracious readers, devouring anything they can get their hands on—from the back of a cereal box to a placemat at the restaurant to the directions for the new coffeemaker.

Writers are often asked how do you manage to read and write at the same time? Simple--just like a chef eats, but creates and cooks for his vocation, we read and write. It’s part of the job. Good writers exchange and read works of their fellow writers who create in a similar format. The short story writer will read short stories of masters like Jack London, Edgar Allen Poe, Mark Twain, Louis L’Amour, Kurt Vonnegut,  Eudora Welty, or Alice Munroe. . .and the list goes on.

But don’t be fooled, good writers also read the masters and modern day writers of other genres as well. Why? To discover what is good and what is bad writing. To get ideas. To listen to new voices, to understand new styles, and to discover how characters, descriptions, setting, dialogue, and storylines are created by others.

I personally have found that most writers I know are receptive to new things, are often curious, and do not like to be idle.  They are observant of their environment, situationally aware of everything and everyone around them, and often embrace change, sometimes just for the newness of it. They are able to remember details and, like the cartoonist  who can capture the essence of person with a few  features unique to only that person, writers are also able to sort through detail and write images readers can see and relate to.

TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE

As the old year ends and a new one begins, I often look back and silently chide myself over the time I might have squandered and should have used more wisely.

The New Year is always a great time to say good-bye to all our yesterdays and give a hearty, forward-looking hello to a new start in a new year. It’s a feeling that invades our thinking and whispers, “Your slate is now wiped clean of all the troubles and missteps you’ve experienced. Let’s begin anew.”

So, how will you use this unbiased fellow we call TIME--who credits you every morning with 86,400 seconds in the day? (Or 31,536,000 seconds in the new year?)

Imagine a bank that credits your account with $86,400 each day. It carries no balance over from day to day, and every evening it deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use. What would you do? I believe everyone would agree we’d be foolish not to draw out every cent.

Each of us has such a bank. It’s called TIME. And every morning we are offered 86,400 seconds. Every night, TIME writes off, as a loss, whatever seconds, minutes or hours you have failed to invest in good purposes. There is no balance. There are no overdrafts. Each day TIME opens a new account. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.

What am I really saying? I’m telling you the clock is running and you must live in the present of today’s deposits. Invest your time so you get the utmost in health, happiness and success. Make the most of today. Treasure and use wisely each moment in both work and play.

To realize the value of one year, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of one month, ask a returned soldier how he felt during his last four weeks of deployment 

To realize the value of one hour, ask lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of one minute, ask the person who just missed his plane flight, train or bus.

To realize the value of one second, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment you have. Remember, TIME waits for no one!

The Humble Pines

'Twas daybreak in the forest

The winds blew crisp and cold, 

And snow lay in a white-washed 'guise

On oak trees, staunch and old.

The sky was blue, the drifts knee-deep

As snowflakes fluttered down,

While high above the hemlock sighed

A faint melodious sound.

Across the vale the star of night

Broke through the frigid morn,

And scattered rays of hope and peace. . .

Today, the Child was born.

Then firethorn threw shimmering beads

Amid the sun-kissed laurel;

Bright holly bushes shook their limbs

With shades of sparkling coral.

The birds sang on this blessed day

With wonderous trills and sounds,

The humble pines took time to pray

And bowed their branches down.

TALKING TURKEY: What I'm Thankful for as a Writer

     Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. It's a special day when we don't have to go into a meltdown mode chasing down the perfect gifts for everyone on our Christmas list. The real gift is simply being able to gather family and friends together to eat, talk, share stories, and enjoy all those tempting dishes—like to-die-for corn bread stuffing, Aunt Jane’s pecan and pumpkin pies with mounds of whipped cream, and the ever-famous turkey baked to a golden brown in the oven or a deep fryer. It’s also a time when I think about why I’m thankful as a writer. Here are my top five:

•  I’m thankful to be able to be born in a country where I am able to create and write freely without fears of censorship or retribution. I’m thankful for all our service people—the military, rescue squads, firemen, police and many, many more whose occupations are to protect our freedoms and who are dedicated to keeping us safe. We are, indeed, land of the free because of the brave.

•  I’m thankful for all the fans who purchase our novels and those who make each day just a bit brighter by dropping an email or note in praise of our work. It gives me and other authors a reason to push forward and pursue our dreams.

• I’m thankful for my spouse, my children, neighbors, friends, family, fellow writers, beta readers, and reviewers who act as sounding boards and who understand the writer’s craziness and the driving need to escape to a favorite spot and put ideas on a blank white screen.

• I'm thankful for the editors, publishers, artists, and marketing, production and support personnel who take our lumpy claylike creation of words and help us sculpt those words into a smooth, finished work of art called a novel.

• I'm thankful for all the sights, sounds, smells and tastes around us—like bright sunny days, scarlet sunsets, serene snowfalls, gentle rain, the smell of pine-tinged air, the warble of a song sparrow, the chirping of a cricket, the taste of summer’s first strawberries—and all the wondrous gifts our Heavenly Creator gives us each day to help us to be inspired.  

Happy Thanksgiving from my home to yours!

A look from. . . UP ON THE ROOF

Recently released in digital and coming soon in print, Up on the Roof and Other Stories is a unique collection of nineteen humorous and serious stories exploring the lives and relationships of the young and old.

Here are some synopses of stories included in the book:

BALD REVELATIONS  
A first grade teacher believes her husband of twenty years is leaving her and their two teenage sons when he purchases ten pairs of new dress socks and starts reviewing their insurance policies. Despite her mother’s assurances, Maureen is further convinced he’s cheating when he starts singing Beach Boy songs and tries to persuade her to buy a sporty red convertible. 

COMPUTER JUNKIE   
 When Rita and Jane decide to start a small woodworking business, they never expect their husbands to get involved. But get involved they do. Mitch and Bill decide their wives need their expert computer advice and their meddling could spell disaster even before the business gets off the ground.

HOOKED ON SILENCE   
Two young professional couples decide to go to the lake to fish. Jerome believes that women are not necessarily equal in all masculine tasks, but Angela, his girlfriend, is about to prove him wrong.

STRAW PONIES  
Brita Larson saved the life of an Arapaho brave, Nitis, who now believes he's indebted to her and routinely brings gifts to her ranch.When she then helps rescue his sister, Onawa, from some evil white men selling guns to the renegades, Britta is certain she will never get rid of this gift-bearing Indian. More importantly, how will she explain him to Deputy Sheriff Wyatt McGee? 

Only $3.99 in digital now at: amazon.com

FIVE THINGS NEW WRITERS SHOULD KNOW

§  You will waste a lot of paper. Wasting paper and purchasing printer cartridges are part of the trade. When you print your work and find it's beyond help or you need to start over, throw it away and delete it from your computer. Physically throwing it into the trash signifies a new start mentally. Don’t worry about killing trees. Like crops, trees for paper mills are planted, held in rotation until mature, and harvested.

§  Writing is a lonely, solitary occupation. Writing takes time. You will miss being out in the sunshine or watching your favorite television show. You may miss family gatherings with a deadline near. You will miss sleep. Make friends with other writers. They understand your crazy burning need to create.

§  Find a place to write where you feel comfortable and secure. Arm the location with a good collegiate dictionary, The Chicago Manuel of Style, and an unabridged Roget’s Thesaurus. Roget’s has more than ten times the amount of synonyms than any online site. Then, find something that signals routine and the need to sit down and write—like making your bed, drinking that second cup of coffee or tea, or taking your dog for his morning walk—or evening one if you write at night.

§  Never, never send out your first draft to anyone, anywhere. If possible, let your words sit for a while to cool like a hot custard pie. It’s easier to see missing data, mistakes, and grammar problems when you’ve distanced yourself from your work. Having trouble finding your mistakes? If you’re prone to using Times New Roman on your computer screen, print your work out in a different font like Courier, Arial, or Century Schoolbook. Have a friend help you. Intensive editing is part of the writing process.

§  Don’t believe people who say that writing doesn’t have to be as perfect as possible—because that’s what editors are for. Everyday, editors reject dozens of manuscripts. Do you think they’ll accept one with grammar and punctuation mistakes or basic sentence structure problems? Your writing is a reflection of who you are. It’s your first shot at making an impression and getting a toehold into the publishing world. Just like a job interview, you need to make it a good one.