Wednesday, March 20, 2013

FACING OUR WRITING FEARS CONFIDENTLY

Writers like all people have fears and doubts. Maybe it's because of the creative process that's involved with writing, but maybe it’s because writers tend to be a little more passionate, a little more emotional, and a little more sensitive than others.

Most of our anxieties and worries begin with the “What if. . .?” What if I can’t write the next chapter? What if I can’t finish this novel? What if I get writer’s block? What if I’m not able to edit the manuscript correctly? What if I’m not creative? What if my critique partner or group hates it? What if the readers don’t like it? What if I can’t get it published?

Amid all these distracting worries, depression takes hold, often preventing us from doing our best—and our biggest fear actually becomes self-fulfilling and we do nothing.

How do we break the cycle?

ANALYZE -- First, ask yourself: Are my fears rational? How many of my past fears have come true? What was my biggest fear this time last week, last month, last year? What is the worst thing that can happen? The answers will help you put your fears in perspective. 

PRIORITIZE -- If you decide your fears are grounded, the worst thing you can do is worry. Worry is negative believing and leads to paralysis. Instead, devise a plan. Make it active and positive. Decide what steps need to be taken and the order in which you need to take them. Remember, the one sure cure for writer’s block is sitting yourself down in front of the computer and starting to type. Write anything. Just start. Put some sentences or thoughts swirling around in your head on paper. Or start typing: "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" over and over again. I guarantee you’ll start writing something different and better after a few short rounds of that boring maneuver. 

VISUALIZE -- To turn your plan into reality spend a few minutes each day visualizing success. See yourself completing that project or manuscript. Imagine everyone’s pleased reaction. Imagine your pleased reaction. And think about the pride you’ll feel and rewards you’ll reap.

Remember, fear will never go away as long as we continue to grow. The only way to get rid of fear and to feel better about ourselves is to go out and do whatever we fear. After all, pushing through our fear is less frightening that living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.  


            Life is like a winding road--full of bumps, uphill climbs, and many curves.


Saturday, February 9, 2013

Perfection in Our Work

Aristotle said, "Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”

As the world spins and as I grow older, the more I’m convinced the American worker has lost pride and the ability to strive for excellence. Okay, I admit, at times I’m a perfectionist, a little over the top in being highly organized. And yes, I do have a checkbook that balances right to the penny. But the office where I write is a little messy, so that drops me from an A+ personality to an A- one, I guess.

The other evening my husband and I went to what I formerly considered a nice restaurant--and out of kindness, I will not reveal its name. The only way to describe the experience was less than stellar. It was not overcrowded. There were plenty of hired help to wait on tables, and it was early in the evening, prior to the rush hour.

So what was the problem? The glass of wine I ordered came in a dirty glass. The soup I ordered never came with the meal. In fact, it never came at all. My husband’s ordered a more expensive, more extensive seafood platter and was served the early bird special with less items on the plate. I forgot my black long-sleeved over shirt on the seat when I left, and low and behold, when my husband went back sometime later to check. . .it was still there. No one obviously checks the seat when they bus the tables which means if the seat is dirty, it will stay that way for the next customer. 

What happened in this restaurant is happening all over in America. Everyone is just trying to get it done, not caring whether it’s done right, done with pride, or with a care for excellence. Someone said not to sweat the small stuff. But isn’t it the accumulation of little things that make the total experience? Isn’t it the sum of all the little things we do every day with an eye for excellence and with a pleasurable attitude that leads to perfection in our work. . .and in our service to others? 

I believe writers have the same obligation to their audience as any other worker in any other occupation. But that’s a topic for next time.

Monday, December 17, 2012

GOAL SETTING - The Zig Ziglar Way


With 2013 here, it' time to start setting goals for the new year ahead. But how to you go about it?

There is probably no better advice on goal setting than that of Zig Ziglar, who recently passed away in November at the age of 86 years old. He was a world-renown, motivational speaker who used easy-to-remember, homespun simplicity when he addressed an audience.

Born in Alabama, Zig Ziglar served in the Navy in World War II and later worked as a salesman in a succession of companies before he became a vice president and training director in Dallas, Texas. He is best known for his many books and seminars on topics that teach a person how to be successful, how to set goals, how to network, and how to be a top sales or marketing person.

“See You at The Top,” both a famous book and video, spells out the benefits a person can achieve from setting goals. Ironically, “See You at the Top” was rejected by some thirty publishers. 

Some of the benefits include: knowing, being, doing and having more; using your mind and talents fully; having more purpose and direction in life; making better decisions; being more organized and effective; doing more for yourself and others; having greater confidence and self-worth; feeling more fulfilled; being more enthusiastic and motivated; and accomplishing uncommon projects.

To reach the benefits above, Zig Ziglar set forth the “Seven Steps for Goal Setting.” These seven steps are used in adult classrooms, workshops and seminars all over the United States since their inception in 1975. 

1. Identify the goal or objective you want to achieve

2. Set a deadline and put a date on it.

3. List the obstacles to overcome

4. Identify the people or groups to work with

5. List skills or knowledge needed

6. Develop a plan of action

7) List the benefits – “What’s in it for me?”

Although it’s impossible to comment on all seven steps, defining a goal is certainly the first action step. According to Zig Ziglar, a goal is anything you can have, be or do. Have includes such things as a new car, home or boat. Be simply means your desire to be someone: a mayor, surpervisor, saleman, inventor, or writer. And do entails something you wish to do over a period of time such as improve your health, play a musical instrument, quit smoking, write a book, or develop a better relationship with someone. According to Zig Ziglar,

If you want to reach a goal, you must 'see the reaching' 
in your mind before you actually arrive at your goal."

What goals have you set for 2013? I'm working on my list and will give you a peek in my next post. Until then, have a great New Year.    


Friday, November 9, 2012

Second Helpings - A Collection of Holiday Short Stories and Recipes


From sweet childhood remembrances to fanciful solutions of family dramas to romantic relationships that begin--or end--during the holidays, SECOND HELPINGS is an anthology of stories and memories, but most especially of recipes. Our end-of-the-year celebrations are occasions that bring reunions with unforgettable feasts and that one special, treasured dish. At the end of each story, vignette, reminiscence, you'll find a recipe or collection of recipes that will make your next holiday memorable as well.

SECOND HELPING - A collection of short stories and recipes contains my short story, "Danny's Secret," which tells the plight of a sister whose brother died in the Gulf in 1990. Danny had a family heirloom as a good luck charm, a pearl ring, that was never returned with his personal effects. It had been carried by  his great grandfather in World War I, his grandfather in World War II, and his father in the Vietnam War. Twenty years later, Kay Holland is still searching for answers to its disappearance, especially since her mother is dying and requesting to see it.

SECOND HELPINGS has a series of tasty recipes, including my recipe for molasses cookies. Pick up a copy and read what a pearl ring and molasses cookies have in common. It's available in print and e-book formats.

Buy it now at  Second Wind Publishing

or at  Amazon.com


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Autumn Skipped Across Pennsylvania

Autumn skipped across our Pennsylvania mountains and left behind a trail of riotous color. Her hands brushed over the maples and birch, painting them shades of crimson, bronze, and rich butter-yellow. 

These are rare autumn days when the days are hot and the nights are cool, and the air is radiantly crisp and clean. Each morning, the rising sun creeps down the hills and glades, stretching itself in a lazy yawn, chasing away the fog, and turning trails and byways into a wondrous delight. 

 Along our paths and pastures, blue aster, goldenrod, and Queen Anne’s lace nod their heads while sumac stands boldly in a blaze of red. Beside our homes, marigolds and chrysanthemums defy the first frosts. If we’re lucky, that last rose of the season clings to its stalk and sends up a sweet memory of summer past.
 
These are days when we can hear the cry of the geese as they wing southward, the rustle of dried leaves beneath our feet, and the noisy crows in the cornfields. The drone of the bees gathering that last bit of summer nectar warns us the days will be shorter and the nights longer. Yet, we can’t help but embrace the soothing hum of crickets and night insects that lull us to sleep each night. 

Autumn has walked across our Pennsylvania mountains and spilled out all the seasonal smells like a rich perfume. This is time when red-cheeked apples and sweet wood smoke give off a familiar fragrance that is a harbinger of things to come. We can smell the earth—the dried cornstalks, the pungent aroma of woods and pine, and the musky scent of pumpkins and gourds. Along the fences, grapes on withering vines fill the air with an earthy bouquet.

But there’s a certain sadness to autumn. It’s a warning that the year is ending, that we’re  growing older and we’re maturing. It is a time to contemplate the reason for our being and for our purpose. It’s a time to be thankful for our lives, to re-evaluate our errors, to realign our goals, and to strive towards that which makes us happy . . . and our world a sweeter place. 




Monday, September 17, 2012

Help! Writing is NOT Exciting.

Someone once said the life of a writer is exciting. After all, all we have to do is sit down, come up with some creative ideas, string them together and crank out a story or novel. Sounds simple enough, right?

But what if the creative ideas aren’t there? What if getting the next load of laundry done is on our mind? What if we’re thinking about taking Aunt Martha shopping next Tuesday? What if we’re worried about our child and his next soccer game? What if everything keeps turning up and turning us away from the computer and the blank screen?

Is that what we call writer’s block? Is it avoidance? Or is it just our brain telling us it’s time for a break?

I’m throwing all my loose change on the last choice. For the past few weeks I’ve been stonewalled on where I’m headed with a sequel to my novel, Red Fox Woman, which is a mystery, romance and western. I have already written nine chapters, have a rough outline, but I can’t seem to get myself in that writer’s zone. You know, that place where the words flow like a bubbling stream, carrying you away into the fantasy world of your characters?

At first, I decided I’d blame it on the weather, the beautiful summer, my many travels, and a host of other things that can’t respond to or rebut my accusations. Now, I’ve decided that I’m just distracted, somewhat weary, even annoyed with everyday life and the things which constantly need my attention.

So this week I’m not going wait until January 1st. I’m making a fall resolution—to focus on my writing. Now all I need is for someone to tell me how to find the willpower and determination. How do I rekindle the excitement? Is there some sort of elixir I can take? Please give me your thoughts.


Friday, July 20, 2012

Tips for a Healthy Lifestyle While Chasing Your Dreams - Part II


We create our future by what we dream today.

1. Establish a regular exercise routine. Stress reduces chemicals that make you feel tense. Exercise helps move these chemicals through your body. Try for just twenty minutes of aerobic exercise three times a week, and choose a fun activity you’ll enjoy and stick with. Consider running, hiking, bowling, walking, swimming and water exercises, to name a few.

2. Get plenty of rest. Most people need seven or eight hours of sleep to feel renewed and refreshed. A warm shower or bath before bedtime helps you to fall asleep quickly.

3. Improve your communication skills. Learn to ask for help when you need it. Defuse misunderstandings before they occur by talking things over with your coworkers, spouse, children, relatives and friends.

4. Make time for decision-making. Give yourself plenty of time when making important life changes. When we make a snap decision, and then regret it, our quick decision only causes tension and stress. But remember, procrastination also can cause stress!

5. Eat a balanced diet. Stock up on whole grain breads, rice and pasta. Include lots of fruits and vegetables. Add calcium in the form of milk, yogurt and cheese. Grab your protein from meat, poultry, fish, dry beans, eggs or nuts. Limit your intake of fats, oils, sweets, caffeine and alcohol.

6. Learn to accept and adapt to change. The only thing permanent is change. Learn to accept change as a fact-of-life. Whether you welcome or dread changes, they can be extremely stressful unless you learn to adjust to them. Take time to recover, refocus, and regenerate during a major change such as a promotion, relocation, parenthood, divorce—or any change that causes you undue concern.

Have fun chasing your dreams, but remember you must stay healthy to accomplish it. A writer friend of mine says it the best. You have to love her humor:

     "Don't be unhappy if all your dreams don't come true. . .
     just be thankful your nightmares don't!"