PET PEEVES OF A WIFE, MOTHER. . . AND THE DESIGNATED MAID

As a wife, mother and designated maid, here are my favorite pet peeves family members seem oblivious to--and which drive me "straight to the moon."  

1. Unmade beds. Everyone should make his/her bed. [Note to husband: The last person out of the bed should make it.] Please don’t placate me with the excuse you didn’t have time. It takes two or three minutes! There is a saying, “Unmade bed, unmade head.” Start you day our right and end your day slipping between sheets and blankets that don’t look as if a herd of disgruntled buffalo organized a stampede through the room.

 2. The kitchen sink is not the dishwasher. There is no little elf or industrious dwarf who miraculously schleps the dishes from the sink and stacks them in the dishwasher. But I will tell you that there is a “Grumpy” dwarf if it’s not done. Oh, by the way, while we’re talking about dishes, please rinse your dishes and glasses when you’re finished eating or drinking.

3.  Learn to iron. At least, learn to iron your good “stepping-out” shirts, pants, and dresses. No, no, no, everything is not “wrinkle-free. ” Let’s heat up the iron and chase away the wrinkles on that cotton shirt, especially if you’re going on your first date, to an interview, or to church. It would be wise to make a good impression at all three of these places. You need to look in control and organized—like you care and certainly not like you slept in your clothes.

4. Take out the trash. Please don’t try to squash that last pizza box onto the top of the already overflowing waste paper can! This is the one time all men’s spatial perception flies out the window and heads for Mars. I’ve watched men crush pop cans in their bare hands to try to make the “little sucker” fit the last two-inch space in the trash can and spare them the task of taking the entire heap outside to the proper receptacle.

5.  Pick up your shoes and stash them out of the way. Anyone, who has ever stumbled over a size 13 shoe coming in the entranceway or better yet, waltzed into the bedroom in the dark and stumbled over a shoe worn by Big Foot, knows what I’m saying here. If women wanted to jump hurdles, they’d enter ABC’s television show, Wipeout.

[P.S. Changing the toilet paper roll won't make you brain dead.]

Now it’s your turn, ladies and gents, to add your favorite pet peeve.

Where Do Writers Get Ideas?

Everyone wants to know where writers get their ideas. It’s a question every author who has a book signing or who gives a presentation is asked. Many times, you will hear writers (myself included) admit that they “truly don’t know” where they get them.

For a writer, ideas are like the ocean waves—sometimes they come crashing into our minds; sometimes they roll quietly in and then slip away, receding like a calm ripple; and sometimes they tumble around like a sneaky undertow before they pop up, surface and become a viable thought.

However, there are some truths about all writers:

Good writers are voracious readers, devouring anything they can get their hands on—from the back of a cereal box to a placemat at the restaurant to the directions for the new coffeemaker.

Writers are often asked how do you manage to read and write at the same time? Simple--just like a chef eats, but creates and cooks for his vocation, we read and write. It’s part of the job. Good writers exchange and read works of their fellow writers who create in a similar format. The short story writer will read short stories of masters like Jack London, Edgar Allen Poe, Mark Twain, Louis L’Amour, Kurt Vonnegut,  Eudora Welty, or Alice Munroe. . .and the list goes on.

But don’t be fooled, good writers also read the masters and modern day writers of other genres as well. Why? To discover what is good and what is bad writing. To get ideas. To listen to new voices, to understand new styles, and to discover how characters, descriptions, setting, dialogue, and storylines are created by others.

I personally have found that most writers I know are receptive to new things, are often curious, and do not like to be idle.  They are observant of their environment, situationally aware of everything and everyone around them, and often embrace change, sometimes just for the newness of it. They are able to remember details and, like the cartoonist  who can capture the essence of person with a few  features unique to only that person, writers are also able to sort through detail and write images readers can see and relate to.

TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE

As the old year ends and a new one begins, I often look back and silently chide myself over the time I might have squandered and should have used more wisely.

The New Year is always a great time to say good-bye to all our yesterdays and give a hearty, forward-looking hello to a new start in a new year. It’s a feeling that invades our thinking and whispers, “Your slate is now wiped clean of all the troubles and missteps you’ve experienced. Let’s begin anew.”

So, how will you use this unbiased fellow we call TIME--who credits you every morning with 86,400 seconds in the day? (Or 31,536,000 seconds in the new year?)

Imagine a bank that credits your account with $86,400 each day. It carries no balance over from day to day, and every evening it deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use. What would you do? I believe everyone would agree we’d be foolish not to draw out every cent.

Each of us has such a bank. It’s called TIME. And every morning we are offered 86,400 seconds. Every night, TIME writes off, as a loss, whatever seconds, minutes or hours you have failed to invest in good purposes. There is no balance. There are no overdrafts. Each day TIME opens a new account. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.

What am I really saying? I’m telling you the clock is running and you must live in the present of today’s deposits. Invest your time so you get the utmost in health, happiness and success. Make the most of today. Treasure and use wisely each moment in both work and play.

To realize the value of one year, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of one month, ask a returned soldier how he felt during his last four weeks of deployment 

To realize the value of one hour, ask lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of one minute, ask the person who just missed his plane flight, train or bus.

To realize the value of one second, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment you have. Remember, TIME waits for no one!

The Humble Pines

'Twas daybreak in the forest

The winds blew crisp and cold, 

And snow lay in a white-washed 'guise

On oak trees, staunch and old.

The sky was blue, the drifts knee-deep

As snowflakes fluttered down,

While high above the hemlock sighed

A faint melodious sound.

Across the vale the star of night

Broke through the frigid morn,

And scattered rays of hope and peace. . .

Today, the Child was born.

Then firethorn threw shimmering beads

Amid the sun-kissed laurel;

Bright holly bushes shook their limbs

With shades of sparkling coral.

The birds sang on this blessed day

With wonderous trills and sounds,

The humble pines took time to pray

And bowed their branches down.